…right, I had to give this a name. this was one of the worst tours ever!!! bad organisation, bad things happened, no drivers, no hotels…just read it 
Tuesday, 23rd of december:
…after arriving in frankfurt after my australian tour i spent only a few hours sleeping in my hotel. had to wake up at 3 in the morning to check-in in time for catching my 5:30am flight to sao paulo.
11hours and 30minutes later i landed in brazil. no driver, tried calling him, no chance getting hold of him, so called my agency, noone replied, called my brazilian friends…..finally THEY started organizing this issue. after 2 hours waiting the driver arrived. supposed to be much traffic so he brought me all the way to the central bank quarter in the city.
Wednesday, 24th, CHRISTMAAAAAAS 
woke up, had a walk through the city for getting some food, came back, driver was waiting who directly brought me to the domestic terminal. took a plane to belo horizonte (almost amazonas area).no driver there. ok, calling people again, getting mad…driver arrived, slightly late. anyway, he’s one of the organizers and he always picks me up when i spin in belo horizonte. ricardo doesn’t speak any word in english, but we usually do understand each other 
hotel, club…
WOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, what a massive party in the LABEL CLUB. the location was PACKED, people were screaming and we had the best christmas ever!! (gonna post videos soon) belo hotizonte is one of the best party cities in brazil!!!
btw…just realized i didn’t receive any christmas present. so feel free sending some goodies over
Thursday, 25th:
…not much sleep, ride back to the airport (btw…belo horizonte got the only open-air airport i’ve ever seen), plane to rio de janeiro. 2 hours flight, driver was waiting, hotel at the copacabana…
Friday, 26th:
COPACABANA + IPANEMAAAAAA beaches got another massive sunburn!!!
Saturday, 27th:
the day the problems started!!
well, the day begun relaxed – sun, yummie food… i had to play in MACAÉ some 2-3 hours away from rio de janeiro. so my agent wanted to pick me up…i was waiting more than 2 hours until he arrived. ok, no prob…i’m patient…b4 he arrived my agency told me we’ll be coming back DIRECTLY after the gig, so i didn’t take ANY additional clothes with me. inside the car on the way my agent told me we gonna stay in macaé for the night. ok, no problem, so i’ll be stinky after the club and had to wear the same clothes one more day – not to mention deodorant, toothbrush aso. relax miles, RELAAAX!!!! arrived in the club – damn this location was sooooo packed u couldn’t move. played my live set (awesome party!!!), had fun and wanted to go to the hotel at 5 in the morning.
arrived there – no room booked. humm, was tired and not really fancy starting any dispute with the receptionist that early in the morning so called my agent who was playing himself after my set in this club. it took almost 1 hour to fix this prob and i was REAAALLYYYY tired now. was able to sleep 3 hours before we had to head off to rio again…
Sunday, 28th:
a shower and some more sleep…rrrrrrrrring….???…am i dreaming?? a call from the reception desk…
me: “yeah??”
hotel: “mr.dyson?? when do u intend leaving the room? it’s already 2o’clock!”
me: “hummmm, actually i thought i’m gonna stay here till nye!?”
hotel: “nopoe, the room isn’t booked any longer….”
okeydokey…i’m tired and slightly pissed off now…calling my agency asking what was going on. they told me they’ll take care of this prob. so i could stay there…reeeelaaaaaaaaaxxxx miles!!!!!
Monday, 29th:
no issues today? that was all?? noooooooooooooo, the calm day before the storm!!!
Tuesday, 30th:
another rrrrrrring….reception desk?? nope, my agent, telling me the room ain’t booked any longer coz of NYE (too expensive?? copacabana? maybeeeeee…but actually not MY problem). so what to do now?? was he joking?? nope, he told me i could stay in his flat as he was about to leave to visit his family for a few dayz. well…ok, let’s try it.
he picked me up – 3 hours later than announced (thank uuuuuu) and brought me to his flat next to the botanical gardens of rio de janeiro, dropped me off and left instantly. wohooo…just realized he didn’t have ANY drinks, nor TOILET PAPER and wanted me to stay there for 2 days. not to mention he got a cat and her preferred place was…yep…MY BED. so heaps of cat-hair, cat-smell and all that stuff. grrrrrrrrrrrrr….it was late yet…tried calling hotels…booked out…all of them (i hate NYE…now). so had to sleep there and was really really angry…guys…NO TOILET PAPER. what a desperate situation
Tuesday, 30th:
couldn’t sleep…all nite long. so got up very early waking up my brazilian friends by telephone terror. felipe and gustavo from felguk (plasmapool artists) offered me to live in their flat as I wasn’t able to get ANY room within 30km. so they picked me up and brought me to their house (at last – a beautiful flat, drinks and TOILET PAPER!!!).
so we spent the rest of the day at Leblon and Ipanema…and we were spinning together at NAMASTE club in rio de janeiro the same night. was a damn great event!! great audience and we had soooooo much fun…
since it was like 40 degrees outside and they had only 1 AC in their rooms felipe and gustavo had to leave their own flat now to sleep in their parent’s house. was very awkward for me!!!
actually we intended to leave the club and drive directly to BUZIOS (another 3hours away from rio) for the big NYE party – we also had to play together there) after the NAMASTE club party but we couldn’t get hold of ANY of our agents to confirm out hotel there.
Wednesday, 31st:
we got up very early again…our driver was waiting outside yet and we left towards BUZIOS now. the traffic was horrible coz everyone who ever got a car was on the roads (heaps of accidents). we were still trying to ring someone from the agency as we still had no hotel info. damn shit…tired tired tired…and nye ahead. the ride took 7 hours and we finally arrived at the party.
u really want to change clothes and relax after 7 hours inside a car – specially after spending 7 hours on BRAZILIAN roads!!!
the promoter promised us to organize a room for getting a rest and stuff, so he brought us to the toilet area pointing to one of the plastic portable lavatories telling us we could change clothes there. i was about to kill someone!!!!!!!!
the ORIGINAL toilets of this place (the promoter rent a restaurant at the beachside) were locked. so we BROKE the door. hummm, at least kinda room…opened the toilet lid and saw this HUGE brown “sausage”. relax miles reeelaaaaaaax, just flush it away!!!
wtf!!! toilet blocked? the brown water was rising…close to overflow…i need to kill someone…the worst disgusting place was the only chance to change stinky clothes and still no hotel and noone from the agency answered the phone!!!
wasn’t pretty fancy having fun after all this…but had to play there anyway. felguk and tim healy (coburn) did a great job but couldn’t get in a good mood after all this. after the live sets we tried calling the driver to pick us up…guess what…he didn’t answer the phone. we were waiting further 2 hours, VERY PISSED OF until we could get hold of him. it was raining at night – who cares – it was 40 degrees, but the whole place turned into a big swamp. so u can imagine how i looked like after this…
Thursday, 1st of january 2009:
HAPPY NEW YEAR (more or less – well not for me). still fucking angry!!!! returned to rio. got some 2 hours of sleep. driver – airport – plane to salvador (universo paralello, the world’s greatest party was waiting!!!!!).
in salvador a bus was waiting for a 5 hours ride to a coconut farm somewhere in nowhere (don’t ask for the roads, it was like a theme-park ride). the hotel was a so called POUSADA and i had to sleep with 10 other people in 1 room and noone had respect for anything. they just started talking loud inside the room whilst sleeping or even started playing guitar in the middle of the night…not to mention a few of those creatures were walking NAKED through this room!!!
what the fuck is going on?? i quit half of my australian tour as my brazilian agency promised me the best christmas/nye i ever had and it was getting worse and worse!!!
ok, let’s take a shower: hummmm, kinda “bamboo” shower…with brown water. even the pousada owners told us better NOT to drink this water. ok….relaaaaaaax miles, REEEEELAAAAAAXXXXXX!!!!
at least the pousada was directly at the beach and the universo-festival 1km away…a beautiful walk in the sand at 43degrees.
again, felguk, tim healy and me fucking rocked this place. before and after us it was like dead…only MINIMAL music, people spent their time at the beach just noticing the music as background noise. but once we started thousands came (just check the video i’ll be posting sooon) and though it was incredible hot the place EXPLODED!!!!
when felguk played the organizer of the floor came over and wanted us to stop playing instantly. i guess he was pissed off coz we really really made it a HAPPENING. so our agents were fighting with this ass…ehm, GUY. what a stupid idea stopping such an event for listening to MINIMAL again…
after 3 nights of horror, loud people, bad food (felguk needed medicine because of food intoxication) and sunburns i decided to leave this nightmare!! thanks to my agency i had no proper room (u should have seen the brown dirty oily pool water!!!) and all good places were rent yet.
yeah….not that easy to leave from there…5hours away from any civilisation…though i was artist my name wasn’t on the BUS-LIST and i was bagging one of my agents to get me on there. he promised – PROMISED – to do it. arriving at the bus station – guess what – no name on the list. i had to pay 250bugs and wait 5 hours to catch a bus.
3 days with almost NO sleep, fucking angry because of the incapability of my agency to care about any issues i finally was on the way back to civilisation. meanwhile i was traveling with the guys from FLUTUANCE (also plasmapool artists) and we booked a little pousada there in salvador. yeah…sounds good so far…but: the temperature was like on the surface of the sun and my room – though it had an AC wasn’t pretty chilly.
why? AC damaged…no other rooms free. so the AC FAN was the only working part and it was blowing HOT air inside my room. i was about to die!!!! reeeeelaaaaaaaaaaaax miles!!!!!!
okeydokey…my flight left at 5 in the morning so SLEEP wasn’t an issue anyway…cab..airport. arriving back in rio…yep…no hotel booked! calling flutuance asking if THEY could call my agency. otherwise i would have killed them on the phone. took a while…hotel.
Tuesday, 7th:
was sleeping like 24hours. was burnt out after this trip.
i had this feeling that my flights back to sao paulo weren’t booked, so PUNISHED my agents with phonecalls, though they didn’t answer – and i was right!! 12 hours b4 my flight the finally booked the flights and sent me the info. back to sao paulo i arrived at the central domestic airport inside the city. driver was waiting for bringing me to the international airport 17km outside the city.
checking in…security check…gate…and right into the plane. 3,5hours later (waiting) the captain told us the machine was damaged and we all had to leave the aircraft again. waiting further 2 hours at the gate but they couldn’t repair the machine.airfrance booked us a hotel. back to the airport the very next day, same problem…so 1 more night there. i supposed to play in los angeles on saturday, but had to cancel the gig. wasn’t possible to get a direct flight from brazil to los angeles. daaaaamn shit!!!!!! i was sooo looking forward to this party :..(
we started with a new plane they had to fly in first and after 14 hours i finally arrived in paris france (including the WORST turbulances ever – believe me – i do fly alot – but this was horrible – a sudden fall of at least 200meters out of nowhere!!!!!!). had to hurry to catch my connection flight to frankfurt and 2 hours later – home sweet home. all i gotta do now is picking up my luggage from the baggage carousel and get the keys for my hired car…ehm…luggage…hello…where are uuuuu?? one after another picked up his bags and left…so finally it was only me and the carousel left there. no bags, no luggage…reeeelaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaax miles!!!!!!! ok, they lost my luggage – AGAIN!!!!!!
I’m back home now at last and thankfull i don’t have to travel for at least 3 weeks!!